Choosing the perfect wedding party

Bridesmaids, as we all know, are a vexed issue. There are so many opportunities for feelings to get hurt and disasters to occur! But you can prevent all this from befalling your wedding party by choosing your bridesmaids with care.

Think before you ask

It’s so tempting to run around asking everyone you love to be in the wedding the minute you get engaged – but it’s not something to be taken lightly. Whoever you choose will be working closely with you for the next few months, not to mention they’ll be in all your photos and memories for decades to come. Think about it for at least a month before you ask, and keep in mind the question: will I be close to this person in five years’ time?

Set your expectations

What do you want from your wedding party? Do you think they should be by your side as you sample all the wedding menus London has to offer, or should they simply show up on the day to enjoy it with you? Someone who lives far away or has a lot going on won’t be the best choice if you want bridesmaids who are engaged and involved throughout the wedding planning process, so consider asking that person to join you in one or two pre-wedding activities instead.

Include family members

Not just yours, but your future in-laws, too. They may not be very close to you now, but they’ll be in your life for a long time to come. If you have a big family and you just can’t include everyone, consider asking younger members to do things like ushering instead.

How big should you go?

Your wedding party numbers should be proportionate to the size of the wedding, to a point: big weddings with 150+ guests can accommodate up 12 people each, but if your wedding is more around the 50-60 person level, keep your wedding party small with a maximum of four people each. Numbers are also important to consider in the planning stages, since you’ll have to accommodate everyone’s schedules for hen’s nights and dress fittings.

Switch up the roles

If your best friend in the whole world happens to be a different gender to yourself, why not keep them at your side as a “best woman” or “man of honour”? The important thing is that you have your favourite people with you on your big day. And you can dress them however you like!

Choose grown-ups

Your maid of honour is going to be trusted with a lot of important things, including carrying the ring, helping with a lot of the wedding plans, and holding your hand during pre-wedding jitters. You want someone responsible and organised who you can rely on – but also someone with a sense of fun who knows you well, because they’ll also be planning the hen’s night!

Remember, being in someone’s wedding is a big ask, and don’t feel offended if someone says they just can’t do it!